Horoscopes Are A Drag™
Honey, "Horoscopes Are A Drag" on QVegas is your go-to for that sparkle of cosmic tea, served hot and fabulous, straight from the stars with a glittering twist. Each week, we're spilling the celestial secrets for every zodiac sign, so you can strut your stuff with the stars aligning just right. It's astrology with sass, glam, and a dash of drag magic, making your cosmic journey as dazzling as a drag queen's wardrobe. For your weekly dose of star-studded advice, click your heels and head over every week, darling!
aries
Honey, let me serve you the cosmic tea for Aries this week, darling! You're about to slay this week like never before, starting May 5th, 2024. The stars are aligning like the front row at a fashion show, making it your time to sparkle and shine, yes God! It's all about embracing that fierce energy you got and turning the world into your runway, baby. Confidence? Cranked to a 100. Opportunities? Knocking like they're late to the party. So, throw on those heels of ambition and werk it out, because the cosmos is gagging on the eleganza that is Aries this week. Remember, when life gives you sequins, make a gown, and this week, you're couture, darling!
taurus
Honey, gurl, let me spill the cosmic tea for all you fabulous Taurus babies out there, for the week starting May 5th, 2024. The universe is struttin' its stuff just for you! It's gonna be a week where you need to snap on those figurative heels and sashay away from all that drama. The planets are in full support, serving you realness and all the energy you need to slay your goals. Trust, baby, you'll be feeling your oats, so embrace it, own it, and don't let anyone dull your sparkle. And remember, darling, when life throws shade, you throw glitter! Werk it and make this week unforgettably fierce!
gemini
Alright, darlings, listen up, because Mama's about to spill the cosmic tea for all my fabulous Gemini babes out there! This week, starting on May 5th, 2024, y'all better buckle up your sequin belts because the universe has a glittery rollercoaster ride planned just for you. Honey, the stars are throwing shade and light in equal measure, meaning your creativity's about to be off the hook! It's time to let that inner diva shine, strut your stuff, and remember, in the world of love and passion, you're the headliner! Communication's your secret weapon, so use that silver tongue to charm your way through any storm clouds. Opportunities are knocking, so sashay away from the negativity, and embrace everything with arms wide open. Yes, Gawd! Remember, what you put out into the universe always sashays back to you. Keep those heels high and that head higher, because this week, you're not just reaching for the stars, you're dancing with them!
cancer
Alright, my celestial crabs, gather ‘round ‘cause Mama’s got the tea for the week of May 5th, 2024, and honey, it is piping! This week is all about letting your inner light shine brighter than a disco ball at a midnight bash. The universe is sending some fierce energy your way, so strut your stuff and let the world know who’s boss. Relationships? You’re in command, darling. Work? You better werk and show them who’s the real queen. Keep those pincers polished and your shell glossy because opportunity is knocking in those Louboutins, and you wanna be looking your finest. Remember, stars might guide us, but a queen knows her own way. Shine on, my fabulous Cancerians!
leo
Alright, honeys! Let's spill the celestial tea for all my fierce Leos out there, because this week is going to be as fabulous as a sequin gown at a ball, okay? First things first, the stars are practically throwing glitter your way, meaning you're about to shine brighter than a disco ball in every room you sashay into. But, darling, don't get too caught up in the spotlight. Even a queen needs her beauty rest. And when it comes to love, you might find yourself wrapped up in a romance more thrilling than a lip-sync battle. Remember, communication is key, so snap those fans and make sure you're being heard. Werk it at work too, because your creativity is off the charts, serving realness that could score you that promotion or praise you've been eyeing. Now, strut into this week like it’s the runway of your life because, honey, the universe is your stage, and you're the star!
virgo
Alright, honey, listen up because Mama’s about to spill the celestial tea for all you Virgo queens out there! The week of May 5th, 2024, is gonna be a ride, so cinch up your waist, powder that nose, and put on your fiercest heels, because the universe is calling for you to strut your stuff. The stars are aligning to bring a spotlight on you, darling, so sashay into those challenges, flirt with destiny, and remember, in a world full of basic, be a supreme. Werk it with wisdom, sprinkle a little drama because, trust me, you are about to serve some serious cosmic realness. Keep your lashes long and your wit sharp - opportunities are knocking, and honey, they want a show! So, don’t just walk into this week, you own it, you fabulous creature! Remember, under this vast sky, you are the star, so shine brighter than ever and let the universe know she’s dealing with royalty. And honey, always keep it classy, with a dash of sassy!
libra
Alright, honeys, let's spill the celestial tea for all you fabulous Libra darlings for the week starting on the 5th of May, 2024! This week, the stars are throwing you a glittering gala, and you're the VIP, baby! It's all about strutting your stuff, showcasing that undeniable charm, and making sure your harmonious vibes are as balanced as your perfectly contoured face. Relationships? Hunty, they're getting an extra sprinkle of sparkle, so prepare for some major heart-emoji moments. And career-wise, you better werk, because opportunities to shine brighter than a disco ball are heading your way. Remember, darling, in a world full of basics, keep it fabulous, keep it fierce, and let the cosmos be your guide to slaying this week!
scorpio
Honey, lemme spill the tea for all you fierce Scorpio queens out there for the week of May 5th, 2024. You better get ready to strut into this week like it’s the finale runway because the stars are aligning to serve some serious cosmic eleganza. It's time to snap those fans and prepare for the gag of the season, 'cause opportunities are dropping into your lap like tips at a midnight show. But remember, darling, keep those stingers in check. You’re aiming to slay, not display, those sharper edges. The universe is your stage this week, so paint that face, cinch that waist, and let’s turn this week out! And remember, Scorpio babe, when life throws shade, throw glitter. Werk it out!
sagittarius
Honey, let me serve you the cosmic tea for all my bold and fabulous Sagittarius peeps for the week of May 5th, 2024! You are about to strut into a week that's as dazzling as your favorite sequin gown, darling. The stars are aligning to spotlight your fierce energy, giving you all the cosmic support to slay your goals. It's time to unleash your inner diva, make bold moves, and remember, honey, in this week’s performance of life, you’re the headlining act. So, pucker up, throw on that confidence like it's your most fabulous outfit, and werk it out because this week, the universe is your runway, and you're strutting to win! Trust me, by the time the curtain falls, you’ll be collecting accolades and snapping hearts like they’re going out of style. Get it, queen!
capricorn
Alright, darlings, listen up 'cause Mama's about to serve you the celestial tea! Honey, for all you Capricorns out there stepping into the fabulous week of May 5th, 2024, get ready to strut your stuff because the stars are aligning just for you. Now, I want you to sashay away from doubt and werk confidence because opportunities are about to spotlight you big time. So, throw on that glitter, puff up that hair, and remember, you're not just climbing that career ladder, you're hitting the runway! Make bold moves, stay fierce, and let nobody dull your sparkle. And for love? Oh, you keep those eyes open – someone might just be ready to join you for a twirl under that disco ball. Remember, hunty, you are the moment, so own it, and let the world gag on your eleganza. Now, let's turn this week out!
aquarius
Oh, honey! This week, the stars are spillin' some major tea for all you fabulous Aquarius darlings! Lace up them thigh-high boots and strut your stuff, 'cause the universe is serving you a platter of opportunities that are hotter than a sequin jumpsuit under stage lights. Trust and believe, your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent are about to shine brighter than a disco ball. So, sashay away from that comfort zone and twirl into the spotlight. The world is your runway, and it's time to leave 'em gagging for more, okurr?! Remember, you're not just any star in the sky—you're a supernova with lashes for days. Let's get sickening!
pisces
Alright, my fabulous Pisces fishies, listen up 'cause Mama's got the tea for the week of the 5th of May, 2024! Honey, it's your moment to sparkle and shine brighter than my glitter eyeshadow at a midnight show. The universe is giving you the green light to slay all your dreams and aspirations. So, put on those lashes, adjust your crown, and werk it out because opportunities are coming your way faster than a queen's costume change. Remember, darlings, you're all that and a bag of chips, so swim through this week with all the grace of a pageant winner. Shine bright, my beauties! 💖✨
